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ep 26 - Are You the Kind of Friend You're Looking For? | Philippians 4:8

10/1/20264 min read

In This Episode

• Why finding friendship as an adult can be so difficult
• The importance of doing a personal heart check before seeking community
• What Philippians 4 teaches us about the kind of people we should become
• Gossip, confidentiality, and becoming someone who can be trusted
• Why sometimes we need to stop saying "I'll pray for you" and actually pray
• Learning to navigate differences in parenting, politics, and doctrine
• Pursuing peace even when we don't see everything the same way
• Why we need to be mindful of the people we're allowing into our lives
• Finding your village while still keeping your allegiance where it belongs

Journal Prompt

What's a dream you've watched die but be replaced with a dream you never saw coming? How can you thank God for the path He made to this testimony?

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3 in case i forget Moments

1. Before I go looking for the right friends, I need to ask what kind of friend I am.
I can't just look for people who are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable. I need to let Scripture examine me, too. Community starts with a heart check.

2. When someone trusts me with something vulnerable, I need to treat it like something sacred.
I don't build friendship through gossip, and I don't turn someone else's struggles into a bonding moment. I can be the kind of woman people feel safe being honest with—and when someone needs prayer, I don't always have to say, “I'll pray for you.” Sometimes I can stop and pray right then.

3. I can pursue peace with people who don't see everything the way I do.
Different parenting styles, political views, doctrines, and ways of seeing the world don't automatically have to become walls between us. I can hold my convictions while still showing grace, listening, and remembering where my allegiance truly lies.

SCRIPTURES REFERENCED

  • Philippians 4:1 — Paul’s appeal regarding the women who labored alongside him.

  • Philippians 4:5 — “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.”

  • Philippians 4:7 — “The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

  • Philippians 4:8 — Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise. This is the primary Scripture passage used throughout the episode.

  • Genesis 2:18 — “It is not good for man to be alone,”

  • Ephesians 5:3–4 —refers generally to Paul's teaching about what “should be named among the saints,” specifically in connection with gossip and slander

  • 1 Corinthians 15:33 — “Bad morals corrupt good character” is clearly an allusion to the biblical principle that bad company corrupts good character

RESOURCES MENTIONED
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LET'S KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING

What is the biggest thing that stuck out to you today? What do you feel like the Scriptures are revealing as you look in the mriror to how you are as a friend?

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A NOTE ON HOW THESE SHOW NOTES ARE MADE

Every recorded episode is in my best submission to the Holy Spirit, brought to you as faithfully as I know how. The show notes are drafted by AI directly from my transcripts and then reviewed to make sure everything reflects me and this community. Full transparency always. 🤍

This is in case i forget, a space I obeyed God to create just for you. I will be looking forward to chatting with you next week. ✌🏽

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Series: Open the Door | Part 4
Previous episodes: Part 1 — Opening the Door to New Friendships | Part 2 — Gather Around the Table | Part 3 - When Community Hurts You

Finding community as an adult can be incredibly difficult, especially when you're in a season of transition.

Maybe you've moved to a new city. Maybe you're looking for a new church, you've started a new job, you're postpartum, or you're simply realizing that the friendships you once had don't look the same anymore.

Before we start turning over every rock and crevice looking for friends, there's another question we have to ask:

What kind of friend am I?

In this episode of in case i forget, we're continuing our conversation about community by looking at what Scripture has to say about the kind of people we are becoming, and the kind of people we're looking for.

Starting in Philippians 4, we talk about being true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise. We talk about gossip, confidentiality, prayer, vulnerability, and what it means to actually be someone who can be trusted.

And then we get into something I've personally had to wrestle through: what happens when the people around us don't agree with us?

Different parenting styles. Different political views. Different doctrines. Different ways of seeing the world.

Does every difference have to become a barrier to friendship?

Or can we learn to show grace, pursue peace, and recognize what actually matters when we're building community? This one gets personal because these aren't just things I've read about. These are things I've had to practice myself in real-world time.

And honestly, there's still more to talk about.

The next episode we'll get into the practical side: Where do I actually go to find community?